UPDATE!!!

I have not been on in a while.. I guess I just forgot with all that had been going on. Update on my mom, she had the tumor removed and she had 5 rounds of chemo. They wanted her to do 6 but I am proud of her for doing 5. She has been off oxygen for a couple months now which is amazing! She has her bad days but most are good. I am thankful that she will be here for another holiday season and more.

This year has been so crazy ups and downs all around. I found out I was pregnant in March and in May found out I had miscarried.. then miscarried again not even a month later. It has been a hard year. Still wanting a baby but not sure if it is the right time.

We will be tying the know next year so that is something for me to look forward to. My son has started school and is doing so well that I just want to burst with excitement about it but I don't want to make other people feel like I am better then them. My mind is all over the place.

friends

Sometimes I feel like my close friends don't really want me around. I hate that feeling. I do a lot for some friends more than I do for others and I get the semi -cold shoulder. I know I can be annoying sometimes, other times I am hella quiet. I say things that just come out and can get a little annoying and when I do them I want to zip my mouth shut forever! I will stay quiet. I do more than I should when all I get back in return is shit. I could be doing more things with my true friends. I might as well just stay a hermet and just not come out of the house. Just stay where I am happy.


UPDATE on my mom: she is doing better. She says that the couple of days after the treatment is the worse than after she starts to feel better. She has been eating good which makes me happy. :) She also has been sewing away!

Scared

So tonight I went to call my mom about how to cook sausage, hoping she would answer. Knowing she wasn't feeling well today, she did not answer. So I Googled it.  As I am in bed thinking what it would feel like if I was unfortunate to have lost her. I would not be able to call her and ask her how to do something or get advice about something. I thank God he did not take her.  I don't like her being so far away. It makes me anxious when I think about it. I know I will be the first person chuck calls if anything was to happen. But it scares me that I can't be there for her. And I know my sisters and brothers are the same way as they are further away than I am.

Randomness over
I love you mom. Stay strong.

Color Run

In April I will be participating in the Dallas Color Run. The run if for the Dallas charity, The American Heart Association. I, however, will be participating in this run in honor of my mom. Who in October of last year found out she had lung cancer. When we found out they told her she was a stage four. After many test they concluded that it was in stage one, by the grace of God, the cancer could be removed by surgery. In January of this year (2013) she had the top lobe of her right lung removed. She was the perfect patient.

She has been doing good. I would like to thank all the prayer warriors that came together in my mom's time of need. I thank the Lord every day for not letting me be without my mom for a little bit longer. She is my best friend, my hero. she helps me through things and doesn't think about herself when I need help. I am proud to be just like her. I am running (or gonna try to) in this run for her, not for me.

Today she starts her first round of chemo as a precaution as there were microscopic evidence, in the part of lung they removed, of cancer. Getting chemo will allow her to live longer. She is so scared to death and I am scared of what it is going to do to her. It really hasn't hit me yet that it is today. I can't go and be there with her because of work, I babysit, I don't wand to stress her out more than she will already be. And my sister who lives six hours away is struggling with being so far away.


UPDATE: I will be able to go see my mom in a little bit. Now I'm getting nervous.